The Love Doctor: Jealousy

Welcome back, love birds, in this new edition of the love doctor the dish will be about jealousy. Do you ever get the feeling that the person you are with finds someone else more attractive than you? Or maybe you may feel that your significant other has a better bond with someone else than they do with you or you hate hearing about their past with someone else? Does their past make you upset, and create a burning desire to lurk their phone? Do you need to know where your S/O  is at every second? If so, you are the jealous type.

Jealousy will exist in every relationship. In some relationships there will be more jealousy than in others, but being too jealous can lead to the end of you and your bae’s relationship. Many anonymous students have asked questions on how to avoid being too jealous and here are answers.

The first question comes from an anonymous sophomore:

How do I stop being jealous in my relationship?

Having trust in your relationship is an important factor on how to overcome jealousy. When you’re doubting your partners actions, you have to remind yourself that you need to trust them because they might just be telling you the truth. If there comes a time in which you come across something that does not seem right, do not automatically jump into conclusions. Instead communicate with them about how you’re feeling and what’s on your mind. Talk to your partner about it so they can clear bad air. Stop constantly comparing yourself to other people such as people you feel they’re really close to. They are with you for a reason and if you need reassurance from your partner, then you should never hesitate to ask them.

The second question comes from an anonymous senior:

Is it okay to go through your bae’s phone?

A relationship needs a foundation with trust, affection, and balance. Trust is a major role in a relationship. How can you be with your partner if you don’t trust them? It’ll be a hurtful and stressful relationship without trust. Going on your partners phone is maybe a sign that there is no trust, meaning your relationship is not in a great place. What business do you have going through your partner’s phone if you guys have “trust” in each other. Not to mention it’s immature and if you want to snoop, you need their permission first. If both of you agree that going on each others phone would be a good idea, then that shouldn’t be a problem because it’s a compromise. However, if you guys don’t establish that going through each others phone is okay, then you have no reason to be doing so. If your partner catches you snooping through their phone that could lead into your partner losing the trust he/she may have thought you had, cause even bigger problems, and huge misunderstandings. If you’re having doubts in your partner, instead of wanting to look through their phone in hopes of finding answers, you should confront them upfront. If they avoid answering your questions, then they’re not worth you stressing over. A relationship goes two ways, with both partners, you shouldn’t have to be stressing whether your partner is  cheating or not. You shouldn’t feel as if you have to force your partner to act right or control who they’re texting.

The last question comes from an anonymous junior:

Does jealousy have a positive or negative impact in a relationship?

Jealousy has a more negative impact in relationships than it does positive. There’s two reasons as to why jealousy has a more  negative impact. The first reason is, if you have actual reasons to be jealous but your partner keeps lying to your face, this can lead to your partner thinking and making you feel crazy for acting this way. If you’re being jealous for no reason and are constantly making up things and are trying to control your partner, this will also have a negative effect such as your relationship coming to an end. The negatives effects of there being too much jealousy is that it can get to a point where the trust is broken, the relationship comes to an end, your partner can make think you’re crazy, problems are created, and your partner may feel as if they no longer have the right to do things because of how you’ll react. Relationships should be healthy and happy. You can’t have that if there’s so much jealousy contaminating the love that is supposed to be in the air.

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